by Taihei Sasaki | staff writer
Winter is coming, but not for us who will be snug in our couches and futons awaiting the premiere of Season 4 of Game of Thrones, the hit historical fantasy show that has captivated audiences worldwide. On April 6th, at 8pm Eastern Time, we will be kicking off Season 4.
The most notorious part of the show is that it makes you really like certain characters and then they get killed off in a very horrible and excruciating manner. Every scene has you gripped and wondering about who will be the next to bite the dust. It’s part of what makes the show really addicting. Besides killing off popular and beloved characters, there’s lots of T&A, nudity, sex, and dragons to go around. This show is as close to a porn TV show as you get.
Will the Stark family return to get their revenge? Will Joffrey get what he deserves? Who will be the next character to get their member chopped off? So to commemorate the departure of winter (for us, not the residents of Westeros) here are the top 5 moments in Game of Thrones.
1. The Red Wedding
Oh man. Just when you think it could not get worse for the Starks, George R.R. Martin has to do the unthinkable and wipe them off the face of Westeros. This has to be unanimously the most controversial, shocking, and downright upsetting plot twists in television history.
2. Battle of Blackwater Bay
What do you do when a huge naval force is coming to attack you? Tyrion Lannister proves to the audience that what he lacks in body size he makes up in wits and cunning. The events at Blackwater Bay could be a metaphor for every group project ever. There is one guy who does all the work (Tyrion), one guy who leaves because he’s a coward (Joffrey), and one guy who comes in at the last minute to take all the credit (Tywin).
3. Eddard Stark gets beheaded by order of Jofferey
If our first introduction to Joffrey established him as a whining little brat, this scene where he sentences Eddard Stark to death solidifies his position as the most hated character in the entire series. Worst of all, it seems that George R.R. Martin has thus far surrounded him in a karmic shield. Every horrible fate we wish for him to experience bypasses him and falls to characters we want to succeed. George R.R. Martin truly feeds off the tears of his fans.
4. Melissandre gives birth to a smoke demon
A truly weird and disgusting way to change the dynamics between the Baratheon brothers is to have a red priestess give birth to a smoke baby that looks in every bit an abomination to nature. We don’t need her giving birth to anything anymore. I don’t trust her after seeing she can pump something other than babies out of her lady parts.
5. Daenarys Targeryan hatches her dragons
How do you make anything a thousand times more awesome? Dragons are the quick and easy go to. Daenarys Targeryan’s wedding gifts finally pay off in the most expensive yet awesome part of the show. As the show goes on, we’re biding our time, waiting for Daenary’s dragons to kick some serious ass.