F.L.O.T.U.S. Fashion Factoids

As the holiday season quickly approaches, many of us find ourselves wondering what to wear to our annual family gatherings, our boyfriends’ company holiday parties, or a New Year’s Eve soiree and are looking for interesting ideas for decorations. And what better place to look for helpful advice than the First Lady of Fashion herself? Michelle Obama has revolutionized Presidential style by pushing the limits and the price tags. Even though you may not be planning to host 50,000 guests over a period of 28 gatherings this month, we have compiled some of our favorite tips to get you through the holiday season.

Save the Polar Bears – and Some Money

The 18 ½ foot Douglas fir Christmas tree that has been chosen for the coveted title of “Official White House Christmas tree” is outfitted with multiple strands of energy-saving LED lights and will be replanted following the end of the season. Don’t have enough room for an 18 ½ foot tree? That’s ok. You can create your own version by decorating your regular old tree with new LED lights, and save a polar bear life’s worth of fossil fuel per day by doing so. With the extra money you save, you can spend more on your holiday wardrobe.

Kick Back and Enjoy Some Eggnog while Other People Do the Decorating

While we can’t all convince 92 volunteers to spend 3,400 hours decorating our homes to perfection like the First Lady was able to do this year, you can surely recruit some bums sitting on a nearby street corner to help out. With unemployment soaring to 17.5% because of Bush’s transgressions, there are plenty of jobless who would probably love to help transform your home into the North Pole at no cost. Offer them some eggnog (spiking it with whiskey is an added bonus, but that depends on how well they do) and sugar cookies and watch them work. All you have to do is supply the decorations, LED lights, and refreshments. With all the time you save, you can head to the mall and stimulate the economy. Of course, there is always the option of hiring paid help to come in and do the decorating for you as well. If enough people follow suit, unemployment will dip even more and give the President something else to boast about. In Mrs. Obama’s case, she has 22 staffers whose salaries are generously paid for by the American public to tend to her every need. Apparently they were busy with other urgent errands; hence the need to call in 92 extra volunteers to do the dirty work.

Onto the Main Event: Whatever Will You Wear?

To take a chapter from the First Lady’s book of holiday fashion, all you really need are a few basics: big, gaudy belts, oversized jewelry, kitten heels, a few sparkly ,teacher-esque cardigans, some poofy, hip-slimming skirts, and of course, several sleeveless dresses. While it all sounds a bit overwhelming at first, don’t give up. Basically, it’s just Jackie O, only less classy. You take a poofy skirt, mix it with any of the cardigans, cinch a huge belt around your waist, blindly choose a few pieces of jewelry, slip on those heels, and you’re good to go. This look is perfectly suitable for meeting the boyfriend’s family, brunch with your grandmother, family holiday parties, or even meeting the Queen of England (in which case, you just add more jewelry). In all other situations, regardless of formality (or informality) the sleeveless frock is the perfect choice. As before, jazz it up with some jewelry and a belt, and you’re right in line with First Lady Obama fashion.

Whatever your dilemma may be, follow the simple suggestions I’ve outlined above and you will make Michelle proud. If we all take initiative and start dressing like her then maybe, for the second time in her life, she can be proud of her country.

“In my own life, in my own small way, I have tried to give back to this country that has given me so much,” she said. “See, that’s why I left a job at a big law firm for a career in public service.” - Michelle Obama.